Apps and games for couples exploring ethical non-monogamy
Updated October 2026. Facts checked on 30 October 2026.
A note before you read: we make Blend, so we are not neutral. We have tried to be fair, and we have not put Blend first. Every claim about another tool comes from its own website or app store listing, linked in the sources. Prices and features change, so check the source before you decide.
The short answer
No single app does it all, so it helps to decide what you want first. To talk about non-monogamy itself, the tools written for it are card decks and prompts: Odder Being’s Polyamory Conversation Cards, OPEN’s free 50 prompts and our own 60 questions. To find out what you both want, Spicer and We Should Try It show only the ideas you both say yes or maybe to. Paired and Gottman Card Decks are general couples tools, not made for ENM. Blend (ours; new and small) has games and the Hot Partner Challenge for linked partners and matches, but you both need to be on Blend.
Talk first, then play
Games and quizzes are a way into a conversation, not a replacement for one. If you have not yet talked about opening up, start with how to talk about opening your relationship, then try the gentle prompts in questions for poly couples. Agree your limits before you begin, and let anyone pass on anything.
At a glance
Grouped by what you want to do.
| Option | Best for | Format and cost | Made for non-monogamy? |
|---|---|---|---|
| OPEN: 50 conversation prompts | Free starting questions about non-monogamy, for you or with partners | Web page. Free | Yes, from a nonprofit for non-monogamy |
| Blend: questions for poly couples | Sixty prompts, from warm-ups to jealousy to a few flirty ones | Web page. Free | Yes |
| Odder Being: Polyamory Conversation Cards | Talking through needs and boundaries in a poly or open relationship | Paper or digital cards. From about €10, per the shop | Yes |
| Gottman Card Decks | General closeness and communication, based on relationship research | App. Free to download | No |
| Spicer | Finding out which intimate ideas you both like, privately | App. Free to download, with paid extras | No: built for two people |
| We Should Try It | A quick start in the browser, from the same maker as Spicer | Website. Cost not stated on its home page | No: built for two people |
| Paired | A daily habit of talking, with games and quizzes in Premium | App. Free to download, with a paid Premium | No |
| Blend: Games tab and Hot Partner Challenge | Playing with linked partners and matches inside an ENM dating app | Android app and web app. Free to use | Yes, but both of you need Blend |
The options, one by one
OPEN’s 50 non-monogamy conversation prompts
OPEN is the Organization for Polyamory and Ethical Non-monogamy, a nonprofit. It publishes a free blog post of 50 prompts to spark conversations about relationship structures, boundaries and desires. It says they are for checking in with yourself, connecting with partners, or exploring the topics with curious friends, and that there are no right or wrong answers. It is a page to read, not an app, so there is nothing to install.
Questions for poly couples (ours)
Our own page has 60 conversation prompts for partners of any shape, from easy warm-ups to jealousy and a few flirty ones, with simple rules: take turns, anyone can pass, and play at the lowest comfort level anyone picks. It is free and needs no account. See questions for poly couples.
Odder Being: Polyamory Conversation Cards
A physical or digital card deck written for polyamorous relationships. It has 49 questions in seven categories: Autonomy & Sharing, Communication, Emotional Safety, Relationship Structures, Sexuality, Dealing With Challenges and Practicalities. The shop says the deck also suits other forms of non-monogamy, such as open relationships, although some questions may not apply. An English companion guide is available as an add-on.
Worth knowing: the shop lists the deck at between €10.00 and €33.48 depending on format and extras. A paper deck is something you can hold at the kitchen table with no phone in sight, which some couples prefer.
Gottman Card Decks
A free app from the Gottman Institute with 22 card decks and more than 1,000 flashcards, based on its research on couples. Decks include Love Maps for getting to know your partner better, Opportunity for date-night ideas, and Salsa decks for spice in your intimate life.
Worth knowing: it is a general couples tool, not made for non-monogamy. We checked its App Store listing; check the store for your device.
Spicer
Spicer is an app for couples to discover intimate ideas together. Both partners install it and link up, then answer the same questions with Yes, Maybe or No. If you both answer Yes or Maybe, the idea becomes a Match; anything either of you answers No to stays hidden. It also has dares, a private chat for the two of you and the option to add your own questions. Its website lists more than 12,000 questions.
Worth knowing: the focus is sexual, it is built for two people, and Spicer’s own FAQ says it has no functionality for multiple partners out of the box, then describes a workaround. It is free to download, and its App Store listing shows paid extras such as question packs.
We Should Try It
An online questionnaire for couples, from the same maker as Spicer. Once you and your partner have both answered the questions about various fantasies, it shows only the ones you are both into. It runs on a website, so there is no app to install.
Worth knowing: like Spicer, it is built for two people. Its home page does not state a price.
Paired
Paired is a general couples app built around a daily habit: it gives you a question each day, and you unlock your partner’s answer once you have added yours. Its Premium tier adds guided journeys, topics, and games and quizzes, and its website also describes games and quizzes for talking about sexual desires. It is free to download, with Premium as a paid subscription.
Worth knowing: it is built around one pair of partners and is not specific to ENM.
Blend’s Games tab and the Hot Partner Challenge (ours)
Blend is a dating and community app for ethical non-monogamy, and games are part of it. The Games tab has icebreakers and partner games: Truth or Dare, Would You Rather, Never Have I Ever, This or That, Two Truths & a Lie, Debrief Cards and Yes, No, Maybe. Games can be played inside a chat, and each one has levels from Warm-up to Wild, with every player choosing their own limit. In the Hot Partner Challenge, linked partners send each other dares. At ENM events, hosts can run room-wide games such as Speed Flirt and a Party Scavenger Hunt that guests join with a QR code.
Worth knowing: you and your partner both need to be on Blend, with your profiles linked by consent, and games with matches need matches. Blend launched in 2026 and is small, so depending on where you live you may see few people. It is a dating app, so the games sit alongside profiles and matching; if you want a private tool for just the two of you, the apps above are built for that. Blend is free to use, with an optional Premium that adds incognito mode, advanced filters, priority likes, a monthly boost and rewind. It is on Google Play for Android; on iPhone it is a web app you add to your Home Screen, not an App Store download.
Using these without turning it into a test
- Agree limits first. Decide together what is off the table. On Blend, every player picks their own limit for a game, and in any format you can play at the lowest comfort level anyone picks.
- Anyone can pass. A skipped question is information, not a failure.
- Treat matches as ideas, not promises. A “maybe” in an app is a reason to talk, not a yes.
- Stop when it gets heated. A game is not the place to settle a hard conversation. Come back to it another day.
If you are ready to meet other people, dating as a couple or triad, ethically covers how to do it well.
Questions
What apps or games can couples use together when exploring ethical non-monogamy?
For talking about non-monogamy itself, there are card decks and prompts written for it: Odder Being’s Polyamory Conversation Cards, OPEN’s free 50 conversation prompts and our 60 questions for poly couples. For finding out what you both want, Spicer and We Should Try It show only the ideas you both say yes or maybe to. Paired and Gottman Card Decks are general couples tools. Blend (ours, new and small) has games and the Hot Partner Challenge for linked partners and matches.
Are there free ways for couples to start talking about non-monogamy?
Yes. OPEN, a nonprofit, publishes 50 non-monogamy conversation prompts for free, our questions for poly couples page has 60 prompts, and the Gottman Card Decks app is free to download. Spicer and Paired are free to download with paid extras, and Blend is free to use.
Is there a game made for polyamorous couples or groups?
Odder Being’s Polyamory Conversation Cards are a card deck written for polyamorous relationships. Blend has partner games, including Truth or Dare, Would You Rather and Never Have I Ever, that can be played inside a chat, and the Hot Partner Challenge for linked partners. Among the options we checked, those are the ones written for non-monogamy.
Can we use couples apps like Spicer or Paired if we are non-monogamous?
They work for the two of you, but they are not built around other partners. Spicer’s own FAQ says it has no functionality for multiple partners out of the box and describes a workaround. Paired and the Gottman decks are general relationship tools.
What is the Hot Partner Challenge?
It is a Blend feature where linked partners send each other dares. Both partners need to be on Blend and linked with consent.
We have not talked about opening up yet. Where do we start?
Start with a conversation, not a game. Our guide on how to talk about opening your relationship covers what to think through first, and our questions for poly couples give you gentle prompts to begin with.
Sources
- OPEN: 50 Non-monogamy Conversation Prompts, accessed 30 October 2026.
- OPEN (Organization for Polyamory and Ethical Non-monogamy) home page, accessed 30 October 2026.
- Odder Being: Polyamory Conversation Cards, accessed 30 October 2026.
- Odder Being home page, accessed 30 October 2026.
- Gottman Card Decks on the US App Store, accessed 30 October 2026.
- The Gottman Institute: Gottman Card Decks app, accessed 30 October 2026.
- Spicer website, accessed 30 October 2026.
- Spicer on the US App Store, accessed 30 October 2026.
- We Should Try It, accessed 30 October 2026.
- Paired website, accessed 30 October 2026.
- Paired on the US App Store, accessed 30 October 2026.
- About Blend, for every fact about Blend on this page.
Try Blend alongside whatever you use now
Blend is free to use, including seeing who liked you and unlimited messaging. Link partners with consent, chat with end-to-end encryption and find ENM events.
On iPhone? Add Blend to your Home Screen in about 30 seconds.